1978 Chateau Latour Côtes du Rhône Blanc
€5/500ml
This splendid blended wine is produced from a blend of noble grape varieties, including Sauvignon blanc, Albariño, Barolo, English Russet; and Koshu in our splendid winery located in the picturesque village of Chateauguay , nestled in among the rolling hills of the Côtes di Rhône region. It pairs nicely with steak and asparagus. It received 97 Fauchi points (FDA approved) and 72 Parker points (Parker pen corporation).
1995 Domaine Gerard Depardieu Beaujolais 1er cru “Clos des Perrières” Rouge
€13,39/500 mL
This charming red Beaujolais 1er cru is from the picturesque vineyard known locally as “Clos des Perrières” or “Les Gouttes d’Or”, nestled in the mountainous terrain of Beaujolly just near the border between France and Austria (Holy Lichtenstein Empire). The wine is a blend of Chardonnay, Falanghina, Riesling, Folle blanche, Maris Piper, and Feldspar. It is best paired with pears. It received 102 points from Kobe Bryant (Wine Barrister) and 666 points from Nick Shadow (Devils Advocate). FDA approved, consult your doctor if. It is available in 750 μl and 750 hL bottles.
1475 Domaine Barossa Shiraz
11% alcohol, €43/500 mL
This vintage Shiraz wine, made from 100% Cabernet Sauvignon, is based on Max Grange’s best known wine, Penfolds Schubert. It is grown in the rugged canyons of the Barossa Valley, Victoria, New Zealand, and is perfect with fish. Noted Australian critic Robert Parker gave this wine 98.93 points, while American Critic James Halliday gave the wine 93.98 points. Allen, Smythe, & Partners LLC wish us to note that this wine is not associated with drop-bear attack and is not wanted in the US on federal charges. FAA approved.
2028 Clos d’Alpaca Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon
21% alcohol, 64% water, 19% unknown, €943/500 mL
This startlingly rich Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon is made from Shiraz, Crimson Seedless, Valencia, and Talisker grape cultivars, lovingly cultivated in the lowland vineyards of Beinn Bheigeir, Napa County, WA, Argentina. This estate has a long history of wine production, dating back to at least the Roman period or beyond, and has remained in the ownership of the same family ever since its establishment. A custom blend of grapes that was first devised by the current owner and winemaker, the third generation of the family, it has vibrant notes of pineapple, marshmallow, and bitumen. Noted wine critic Richard Feynman described the wine as “indescribable”, awarding it ℵ0 points. FDA approval pending, may cause drowsiness or in extreme circumstances. US-DOS rated as ‘PG-13’. Do not leave unattended.
2539 Clos de la Lune Lunar Colonies Grenache
Percent alcohol, $9,5bn/500 mL
The third vintage of the first wine to be grown on the lunar surface, and the first to be entirely vinified and bottled on the moon. A small step for a winery, but a giant step for mankind. This unique Grenache takes its character from the mineral composition of the vineyard’s regolith. A carefully blended assembly of Riesling, Gamay, and Liquid Hydrogen (LH2). Several noted critics have asked to please for the love of god stop sending them wine samples. FAA approved, 17 points Neil Armstrong, 78 points Neil Young. Stand well clear during launch sequence. Don’t listen to anything it says.
